Oh, Hell No!
by Nan119
Summary: One Shot. Someone in a group I;m in asked what Scifi concept had AOS not used yet. I replied Freaky Friday body switch. So then I wrote this. May. Daisy. Coulson. Hunter. Fitz. Mack. Bobbi. Jemma.


Of all the things they've been through, all the crazy places they've seen and all the shit they dealt with – this has got to be the most messed up ever. That was saying a lot. Cause they'd been to space. All had been kidnapped several times. Some had been possessed or brainwashed. Others had been turned into robots and tried to kill them. They had gone into a virtual world that appeared real. They'd traveled through time. Seen other dimensions. Watched as a friend's head would catch fire. Daisy had stood in the middle of a temple and gotten superhero quake powers. But this- this was absolutely the worst. She was two inches shorter and her hair was darker. She was definitely not herself. Nope – she was Melinda May.

Well not all of Melinda May. She still had her own memories and thoughts. Just that those thoughts and memories were in May's body. She was possessing Melinda May's body, and yes, she always was impressed with how great a shape her S.O. was always in and hell for a almost 50 year old – she was kind of hot. Daisy always respected her S.O.'s ability to look good in anything she wore. From that sexy silver dress to her biker chic look when she went undercover. But damn it May was kind of her mom and the last damn thing she wanted to do in this or any other life – was be trapped inside May's body.

Going by the terrified look on her own face, a face on a body now occupied by one Melinda May, Daisy figured her mentor was feeling the same way she felt about occupying a body that was not her own.

But maybe even worse off then she and May were – was the ridiculous realization that Mack was now in Fitz's body and Fitz was occupying Mack's. Mack kept groaning and Fitz was running around flexing his muscles. Well flexing Mack's muscles.

Not to be outdone; of course, because this was their reality now, the strange and even stranger, was the fact that Coulson was nearly hysterical while he kept screaming 'bloody, bloody hell. Hunter's body was calmly looking around the room and finally tried to take control of the situation.

"Everyone, just stay calm. I think that object was an 084."

Melinda scowled at him and replied in Daisy's snarky voice. "You think?"

Daisy smiled at her. A huge full on smile that covered her entire face.

"Stop it Daisy."

"Stop what May? I'm not doing anything."

"You're using my face to smile."

"Well excuse me."

Phil grinned at Melinda in Daisy's body. "It's a really nice smile Mel. You should do it more often."

"See that's why. Now he's gonna want me to smile when I am back to being me. So stop it."

"I agree with May," Mack in Fitz's body answered. "Melinda May smiling like that is creepy."

Fitz in Mack's body agreed. "It is a very weird sight to behold for sure."

Just then Jemma and Bobbie came running into the lab. "What happened?" Jemma was the one to speak.

Bobbie added. "We heard a loud bang and saw a bright light and the other lights on the base flickered on and off.

Coulson spoke up. "We seem to have a slight situation. Seems this 084 changed us."

"Changed you sir?"

"It bloody pushed me into his body," Hunter shrieked.

"Yes, it seems that the six of us have switched bodies. Hunter jumped into mine. I jumped into Hunter's. Mack and Fitz switched. And Daisy and May as well. See you can see the smile on Melinda's face that is really Daisy and the frown Daisy that is really a pissed off May."

Bobbi watched as the body of her husband talked in his own voice and yet talked like Coulson with an accent. "This is a joke, right? Damn you guys really had me going."

Jemma had moved to Fitz's side and was looking at Mack. "Fitz. You're you right?

Fitz in Mack's body answered. "Of course I'm me Jemma. Look what I can do." He picked up the coffee table with one hand. "It's amazing. I have muscles in places I didn't know you could have muscles."

Mack in Fitz answered him. "Easy there, Turbo. You don't want to move too fast. I'm like a foot taller than..."

Fitz slammed his head on the cabinet as Mack spoke.

"Owe."

Daisy laughed loudly. Everyone turned to stare at her. "What? It's me Daisy. You've all heard me laugh."

"Not in Melinda May face. It's quite unsettling." Fitz replied as he continued to rub his head.

"Oh my god. You all really switched bodies," Bobbi shouted.

"That's what I said.' Coulson shook his head. "Simmons, you and Fitz need to get to work on this. Bobbi maybe you should help them. Best case scenario – it wears off in a while. Worst case – we have to just cope with this till Fitzsimmons find a reversal cure. We still have jobs to do. So let's carry on people. We're trained spies. We can handle this."

"So I can just sleep with Bobbi in this body?"

"Oh hell no Hunter."


End file.
